True Friendship

Article No. 14

10/August/2019

(Dedicated this article exclusively to Navami, my True Friend and Closest Spiritual Confidante)

True friendship is seen through the heart, not through the eye. The wavelength of the soul is a matter of factor of True Friendship. A True Friendship refreshes the souls. It is tied by God in an invisible thread to stay closer forever to eternal everlasting life for achieving heaven. It is being purposed for sharing and carrying sorrows and enjoying in victories. True Friendship helps a person to manage life’s unwelcoming complex, difficult and unpredictable circumstances in life. True friends are like stars, they don’t need to see them but they know they are always there. True Friendship develops and happens only rarely in a person’s life span. Also, with a very limited number of people. Mutual Understanding ability is the single and only skill required for True Friendship. Happy Life is not a career, but having healthy relationships.

Relationship of a person is the single most thing that making life possible in this planet earth in meaningful and purposeful ways. Trinity of Relationship of an individual includes God, Family and True Friendship. It makes life on this planet earth perfectly meaningful and purposeful. The order and priority of a person should go like this 1. God, 2 Family and 3. True Friendship. Also, all three are essential for the colourful life of a person. God always talks and expects from us about family and friendship.

The greatest gift of God is not wealth or social status, but meaningful family and having a true friendship. Marriage and family are making heaven on earth. It’s the covenant between husband and wife under living God. Selecting and getting the life partner as God planned is a great thing. God’s first commandment about getting the family. But in practical life and reality, certain times, all matters cannot talk or discuss between husband and wife or parents and children or among siblings etc. But we need a good listener and communicator as well as a perfect and complete well-wisher in life to manage life’s unwelcoming complex, difficult and unpredictable circumstances. This person can be a True Friend in life, which help to bounce back from life’s inevitable Disappointments, Failures and Pains.

Scripture says: Marriage is the covenant of God, but Royal Law is about True Friendship. Royal Law states that "Love your neighbour i.e. True Friend as yourself". Greater Love is lay down his life for his friends.

Get a True Friendship

Two hardest selection in life is getting appropriate Life Partner and choosing a True Friendship. True and Loyal Friend is the hardest thing to find in life. It is occurring only a few times in our life span and in a limited number of chances. King Solomon (Wisest man on human history on this planet earth) said “A True Friend loves at all time. Righteous people choose their friends carefully, but the way of the wicked leads them astray.” In life, there are so many friends in different walks of life; it is also essential. But the number of True Friends must be minimum, that friend sticks closer than siblings. King Solomon also added, “If your friend is wise, you will get wisdom; if your friend is a fool, you will be foolish”. Dr. Jordan Peterson, Canadian Clinical Psychologist at Toronto University says that “Make friends with people who want the best for you”.

True Friendship among opposite gender must have a quality of pure in heart, sacredness in the relationship and remember God listen to every conversation as well as God is an unseen guest in every meeting.

Three main characteristics of True Friendship are 1. Honest, 2. Complete Trust and 3. Everlasting. Being honest is not only an essential quality of human being, but it is a fundamental quality of a person too. Tell truth always or at least don’t lie. It is an inevitable quality of a True Friendship. For sharing sorrows, there must be honest in approach and communication. It helps to heal difficulties and pains with the Pills of True Friendship. Proper and complete communication is impossible without honesty in conversation. Otherwise, it will cause to generate bad ego between them, which eventually cause to compete with each other in a different situation. This will kill the True Friendship in the long run.

Secondly, Trust deficit is the single most problem in the postmodern present generation. It is not just limited in the personal or family relationship, but in professional relationships too. The trust deficit is increasing among parents and children, husband and wife, among friends, doctors and patients, business etc. So that every individual, who seriously consider life; it is essential that needs someone to put complete trust in life. Trust is a divine quality of life in a relationship especially in True Friendship; which is possible only among the people having integrity and sacredness in life. Mutual Complete Trust must develop among True Friends.

Thirdly, the life of a person not just limited in this earth alone. It is eternal life. Afterlife is more important than life on earth. Therefore, True Friendship is not ending in this world but continue to the futuristic world, that yet to come. So, True Friendship must not end in any way as possible. True Friendship is not between two physical bodies, but two souls. The physical body will weaken and perishes, but the soul is everlasting and immortal.

Maintaining True Friendship

Scripture says that “Do to others as you would have them do to you”. It is the fundamental and basic motto of True Friendship maintenance. Uncertainty and detachment feelings among True Friendship is the most terrible and painful experience to soul and mind. It must not happen to allow among True Friendship. As True Friendship develop and happen only just limited occurrences in life, thoughts of detachment feeling affect in many ways of life. Separation or widening of drift among True Friends hampers life miserably. Because of human life possible on this planet earth through sweet and stable relationships.

For maintaining a lifelong True Friendship, it needs to follow 7 Principles that 1. Listening, 2. Ask Help, 3. Offer Help, 4. Don’t Forget, 5. Make Times, 6. Forget about faults and shortcomings, and 7. Social Interactions. Listening is the foundation of True Friendship, which required openness in mind and thought. If a perfect listener with understanding ability, they can be lifelong True Friends. Asking and Offering helps make True Friendship relationship more active and vibrant. Otherwise, the relationship will be in a passive state of death. Continues assignments and engagements between True Friends reinstate their relationship more firm, useful and stable. There must be always a pending work to complete in both the side, which causes to have more commitments and dedications. This makes life easier and the relationship will be more sustainable. ‘Don’t Forget’ is a very important principle, which expresses and reveals of commitment and dedication in relationship. Remembering of anything related to True Friend, makes True Friendship relationship more colourful in ways forward.  

‘Making Time’ in a frequent interval is an inevitable factor for maintaining a True Friendship relationship for a life span. Fading out of relationship or distance may occur in lack of frequent communication or meeting, which require the investment of time. Every person in this world is not basically good. All of them have strength and weakness. A True Friend appreciates strengths and overlooks weaknesses. ‘Social Interactions’ are an essential part of a True Friendship relationship. It includes family get-together, family marriages, birthday party, cultural celebrations, other family functions, family outing etc. Social Interactions add sweetness in True Friendship relationship. All social interactions produce and differentiate life from career. True Friendship and Family play a big role in it.

Harmony at Life

True Friendship makes harmony in life. True Friends are not making disappearing of unwelcoming complex, difficult and unpredictable circumstances in life, but they don’t disappear while facing problems. They stay forever and lay down life for a True Friend. True Friend in life, which help to bounce back from life’s inevitable Disappointments, Failures and Pains. That’s it.

By,

Nithin A F

Doing Post Graduation in Psychology

Thiruvanathapuram, Kerala.

Email : nithinaf@gmail.com

www.NithinAF.blogspot.com

10/August/2019