Things Love & Human Love

Article No. 27
09/November/2019 

Love of a person broadly classified into two, Things Love and Human Love. There is nothing wrong that a person having materialistic love or things love, but the problem starts when putting Human love or relationship love behind materialistic love. Technology, gadgets, apparels and all other kinds of things help people are not bad. In reality of life, instantaneous and immediate gratification can only provide by these things love; but Human love or relationship love is forever and everlasting. If a person sees a person as a thing and loving him/his as material, they never experience this fruit of everlasting loving relationship. Love in the relationship between people is a spiritual activity rather than materialistic activity. Even though love in the relationship between people is spiritual, it is not one-sided i.e. both parties must earn from each other. It must be a give and take policy, otherwise in the long run; one party will be a sufferer. In relationship love, one person earns love from others and vice versa. Earn means, one must give something to get something. 

Relationship love in Family and Marriage

In family and marital relationship, it is very essential. Problems in a family due to one party not willing to love or understand another party, but interpret others only in one’s point of view. Also, one party need the love of others or consider others as material to fulfil all of their wishes without providing what others really want. Whenever try to start to understand other side and provide and give love accordingly; then all problems will be solved. Materializing relationship love ruin harmony in the marital relationship. Marital relationship is a gorgeous one as it is not designed by man but God. Maximizing its potential by experience it in a meaningful and purposeful way. Of course, there must be issues in the marital relationship as any other areas in life that people involved. Problems are inevitable to all activities that people participating in this world. Family and the marital relationship has no exception to it. But purposeful initiatives is needed from both parties to overcome scars and drifts in the marital relationship. The dangerous part of the marital relationship is viewing life partner as a monetizing matter. This kind of materializing marital relationship and love in marriage, eventually lead to marital dysfunction and divorce.

Purpose of marriage is not for financial strengthening of a person, but being a mutual comfort in this complex, troubled, and difficult world. Some husbands consider dowry or education or salary of wife for the financial strengthening of himself or family at large. Some wives consider education or salary or job status of the husband for strengthening herself. Both are absolutely wrong and never intended to purpose of marriage in this way. Here, things love overrides relationship love; it is the absolute breakdown of meaning and purpose of marriage. Whenever consider marriage as a business deal between two people, marital life will be miserable. Because enjoyment and enthusiasm in things love of marriage are instantaneous and immediate gratifications. It will wipe out at the beginning of marital life. Most of the marriages having abnormal problems started based on a business deal rather than a companionship between husband and wife for mutual comfort. 

The idea of marriage and relationship is not developed by man but designed by God. So marriage, family, sexual relationship, love, care etc. between husband and wife are God’s idea. For a meaningful and purposeful family, the husband must be head of the family and wife must be a helpmeet to him. It never means the wife is a property of ownership of husband. Every individual is a property of ownership of God Almighty. So husband or wife never need to obey any evil act as the desire of their life partner. In the final judgment, each one individually needs to present their accounts and reports. Therefore, non-submissive wife and autocratic husband will be liable to stand before God for their evil and non-transparent act towards their life partner. 

Things Love and Economy = craze in expenditure mania 

Economic survey of 2017-18 gives a proper account of the trend in modern people’s trend in savings and investment over expenditure. A new trend among young family and modern people show that they are more interested in spending money on expenditure than saving and investment. This tendency starting from the craze of people for immediate gratification rather than save for the future. Let us look at data of Economic Survey by the Government of India.

The household sector accounts for the bulk of the savings. However, the share of household savings in total savings declined from around 68 per cent in 2011-12 to 59 per cent in 2015-16. Within the households’ savings, there has been a substitution away from physical to financial assets, with the share of former declining by over 10 percentage points. 

Meaning of this data says that people are more interested in immediate gratification than long term happiness. This kind of behavioural and personality change of people cause high frustration in life. People spend much and more money for buying gadgets/apparels etc. from e-commerce sites such as Flipkart or Amazon. Commercials from Flipkart or Amazon will never cause for happiness without being happy in our self and family relationships. Here, it is a war between immediate gratification and long term happiness. The prize for immediate gratification is high in monetary terms, but long term happiness is very less monetary value but everlasting happiness. It is very important to note that the younger family must save and invest for future generations rather than spending on gadgets and apparels. More than that all expenditure must meet within income or money we made, not extend to loan or debt.

Two eternal relationships and need of a close friend

An individual must have a personal relationship with God, it is first and foremost. Secondly, family relationship with spouse, parents and children. These two relationships are eternal and everlasting with unable to change. Our duties and responsibilities must meet in any circumstances. Also, a close friend is necessary for maintaining harmony in life during unwelcoming difficulties. That friend must have the quality to discuss anything in life without any hesitation; also, that friend’s primary responsibility to help the friend to reinstate good relationship with God and Family for a meaningful and purposeful life in a happy and good way. If people have such kind of good friend, then job opportunities for Psychologist will be in trouble. But it is very rare to get a trustable person to share and discuss everything in life. It is a blessing from God to have such a friend.

Life means

Life has a definite meaning and purpose. The actualization of life can be experienced and achieved only by a meaningful and purposeful life. It is absolutely impossible without God in our life. Purpose of life can simply state that “Being more good to reach more order”. People born with chaos and vulnerabilities, but due to the socialization of religious study (Doctrine & Discipline) make them be more good. Meaning of life can simply state that "It's transcending in nature by Good, Right, Happy, Satisfied and Stable experiences as a human being". It is a fight between good and evil. We can either fight for good or evil. Noone can both. The pursuit of happiness and fight for good are two fundamentals in life. Not things love but relationship love of people will lead to a happy and good life on this planet earth.  

By,

Nithin A F

Doing Post Graduation in Psychology

Thiruvanathapuram, Kerala.

Email : nithinaf@gmail.com

www.NithinAF.blogspot.com

09/November/2019